The trifecta of holiday awesomeness is upon us and with it comes a certain feeling, a “buzz of excitement in the air” if you will, that tends to make people do things that they wouldn’t normally do during the other nine months of the year. In this age of a flattening world and social media publishing most of our antics either with or without our knowledge or consent, it might be best to take these bits of advice to avoid any embarrassment with your family, friends, or worst of all, your employer.
For Halloween, don’t dress up like a slutty anything. This one’s on you, ladies. It is a well documented fact that party girls, or the majority of girls in general, think of Halloween as the one time out of the year they can wear any sort of suggestive and revealing costumes without the backlash of feeling shame or being labeled as a skanky person. It is, after all, “just for Halloween.” Instead of spending your night looking like a streetwalker and potentially having photos taken of you and subsequently posted online, maybe just put on a normal costume like everyone else and enjoy a stress free night knowing that no one’s gonna ask you “so how much?” while you walk around town. Men, this also applies to you. That one piece swimsuit that barely covers your junk and wraps up over your shoulders was only moderately funny when Borat wore it; no one likes it when you wear it, including you. Leave it at home and just dress up like a lumberjack like the rest of us.
Don’t piss off any of your relatives at Thanksgiving. Why? because when you piss someone off, they usually seek vengeance, and when that pissed off person is a relative of yours, getting dirt on you is all too easy. Imagine logging into Facebook while having dinner at grandma’s house, not taking the time to log off because grandma’s computer is still running windows 95 and her monitor alone weighs as much as a Pontiac, and before you know it cousin Bobby who you stole the last bit of mashed potatoes from has hacked your account and is posting baby pictures of you naked in the tub with kids from your childhood whose names you don’t even remember. Not a pretty sight, and one that could be easily avoided by just keeping your head down low and avoiding conversation with just about everyone come dinner time.
Lay off the eggnog at Christmas parties. It is a time of giving and good cheer, but that doesn’t mean you have to give up your inhibitions while your friends cheer you on. When hitting up the various Christmas parties you plan on attending this season, keep in mind the rules that apply to any other social gathering, like not acting like an idiot in an attempt to be the center of attention and ultimately making a fool of yourself in front of every camera phone in the room. Mistletoe is going to be tricky at these parties, and if you’ve drinken any of the “special eggnog,” steer clear of the guy holding the mistletoe above people altogether so as to avoid making any decisions you’ll likely regret.